Divorce should be a four-letter word. The years after my divorce where so confusing. If they weren't confusing enough, I had herpes thrown into the mix. I hid for a long time, blaming my ex and saying everything was his fault. It took me a while to take responsibility for my role in the relationship and the causes of the divorce. People made it seem like divorce is no big deal, like it was easy. Meanwhile, I felt like I had a rug pulled out from under me. One day life was certain. The next day that life was gone. I was left mourning, confused and asking tons of questions:
Who am I? What do I want? How do I date? Where should I live? How do I forgive? How do I trust again? How do I move on?
It took me years to rediscover who I was again, to feel comfortable dating again, to reclaim my life and who I was again.
Reclaiming yourself is about taking time to ask the harder questions and having a safe place to explore those questions. Divorce is a huge transitional time. Due to our busy lives, many of us do not take the time to heal, let go of things in the past, and intentionally create what we want after a major life change. As a result, we end up repeating the same patterns in our next relationship, or we wake up one day and no longer have an idea of who we are. To repeat the same thing over and over again is painful, and it often leaves us feeling hopeless.
Coaching with me around Reclaiming Yourself After Divorce involves an intentional process of reflection to learn and grow from past experiences. It also involves a forgiveness of the things that have hurt us, including ourselves, and then a letting go of the things that no longer serve us. This allows us to enter our future liberated, so that we can purposefully create the life we want, finding fulfillment, connection and peace.
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